Some days are harder than others to maintain a smile and be happy go lucky. I think back in days gone by of how I would climb the rocks in the foothills or go camping with the kids and shoot my bow and just have a great time. Now I go fishing for a few hours and I’m laid up for a day and a half trying to rest and relieve the Fibromyalgia pain in my body. This is so stupid! I feel like my silver lining is fading, I mean how long can a person stay focused on tomorrow? Of course that is me just venting, really I have no other choice than to remember tomorrow is another day.
I remember reading that with knowledge comes the responsibility to own the information. What I mean is that once I learn something new I have the obligation to apply the info to my life or however it is going to be used. I can’t plead the 5th…I am responsible for me and the choices I make. This is true for my disorder too. I know what hurts or doesn’t so shame on me if I knowingly do something I know will have negative consequences. This is holding myself accountable to my actions.
Whether or not I have knowledge I still want to participate in outdoor activities so what am I supposed to do??
I guess I have to learn my limitations now. Like maybe not Billy goatin around on an island of rocks, while wading across a low section of a lake to access it. Or moving a large potted tree because I have an image of being super woman in my head. I don’t want to sit on the side lines and watch life go by. I really don’t like this condition.
I wake up and my spine from my tailbone to neck feels like someone has in a vice and/or I can barely lift my arms to brush my hair, among many other aches and pains. Days like this cause me to want to go back to bed and hit the redo button. A change in meds again and hopefully this will be the one that works. Who the hell knows, not me and obviously not to doctors.
My post today has really no meaning except for me to vent my frustrations to the world even though I know there is not a darn thing anyone can do. It seems like there’s not a whole lot even I can do. I know, lock myself in a room and stay in bed forever, maybe that won’t hurt. Now I’m whining, no time for that. I’m sure we all have our bad days but I just want mine to end so I can live! It doesn’t seem like much to ask, but whatever, I guess I’m along for the ride. I’m sure in the end, if there is one and it’s not my death, I will have learned something out of all of this.
My Silver Lining 